Great, it’s time for Anxiety! So, I’ve been pretty much wrapped up in Lawrence all week but like I said on the last post, I’ve decided to go ahead with the Experiment and continue dating. A few days ago, L and I sat down for a talk and he said he had something to tell me and I said I had something to tell him as well. The timing seemed synchronous but the content was not. He asked if I would be his girlfriend and I had to tell him that I felt like I still needed to date as a Self-Improvement Project. This was not a super fun conversation, obviously. What was even less fun was the conversation I had with him today in which he was pulling away from me and unhappy because I am going on a date today and he knows it.

I am leaving for said date in 10 minutes and I am freaked out now because of the above situation. Plus, I didn’t e-mail back my date for today (from Speed Dating) in a timely manner (being anxious about L) so now I have not heard from him and may be stood up! Well, I’ll chalk it up to experience and I have a plan to go grocery shopping instead in that neighborhood if I don’t see him at the restaurant. I am not paying for a lunch for myself today!

I just feel like things are back firing on me. I want L to be more affectionate (is this a problem that he is not as much as I want him to be?) and here I am dropping a bomb in his lap which is only apt to make him less affectionate.

Augh!!!