DATING EXPERIENCE 4: Trouble with Techies





AMOUNT OF TIME BEAUTIFYING: 45 MINS (I had no expectations due to my earlier anxieties but figured I should look decent and tried to dress up a little because I figured he was that kind of guy)

FOLLOW-UP DONE BY: N/A; has not happened yet, the date was today


INTRO: Lots of gluten and conversation to chew on.

NARRATIVE: As of this moment, I am having trouble thinking because of a gluten-induced food coma from being dumb enough to eat at an Italian restaurant and not ask to go somewhere else where I could eat my usual hunter/gather-ish diet. However, the date itself was thought-stimulating, which is a good thing for someone like me who needs to be entertained.

Damon is entertaining, very techie/nerdy/smart, funny, and quirky/weird in a good way. We had an interesting conversation based on these things, except the techie aspect of his personality may be a bit overkill for me since I am a technical dinosaur and positively inept when it comes to the physics projects, games of strategy, video games and computer topics he was talking about. I wanted to call out in the restaurant, “I know I’m a nerd but you’ve got the wrong girl! I am the stupidest person you’ll ever meet–I have battles with touch screens because they don’t know I’m alive!” (Day in my life: touch the button on the screen, nothing happens; touch again, nothing happens; third time, nothing…I go into Cave Woman mode and start stabbing the screen.)

But then again, he had me laughing at his weird wit and sense of fun. I greatly enjoyed hearing from a fellow cerebral character about the myriad of ideas that his brain constantly pumps out. He’s also sarcastic and blunt (self-described). I can usually deal with blunt because I appreciate honesty and like to know what the other person thinks, even if it’s not fully pleasant. I want to be communicated with. I also enjoy sarcasm and making fun of people (in good humor) and situations, as does he.

Unfortunately, he has little physical appeal for me. I don’t like his round little dimpled chin, his almost apple-shaped round face and his dorky short-bangs oriented haircut. The judgments are just rolling out here. I should say though that he  has intelligent, kind of piercing brown eyes. And I did agree to go on a date with him in the first place because he has something interesting to say and is so smart that I respect him. I figured if nothing else, he could end up being a fun friend to hang out with.

He wore a really nice shirt, which is always impressive. But he went to church earlier today (I didn’t ask about that). Church-going itself is not necessarily a problem, it’s the religion that usually goes along with it (sometimes, not always). I don’t want any Gentle Readers to be offended here.

He has a good job, stability, and I suspect some money (especially with his fancy watch and talk of buying a new car and Good Golly, I think he may even have a house!) I hate, hate, hate being the typical female sniffing out a Provider but gee it sure was nice to have someone care enough about his impression on me to pay for lunch. He didn’t flaunt his money or job about either as dating currency.

He had initially asked me out on a longer date in which there would’ve been pool and drinks after lunch but I didn’t accept what with my anxiety problem. I also had a crap ton of stuff to do today and now am writing instead of getting it done. He was a little bit miffed, but still agreeable when we talked about it. I did at least feel that it was worth at least one more shot and would be fun to talk to him again so I brought up the idea of date #2 and we came up with some ideas.

My conclusion is that smart can be sexy, as I have always known but I also know that I need someone who is a bit less of a Tech and more of an Artist. This is tricky because the Artists I have been in relationships with either had deep-seated issues, a selfishness problem, or they broke my heart into millions of tiny pieces. At least with a Tech you know where you are. But, I think I may just get bored. Too bad.

The other thing I learned today is that I did the right thing. I feel self-affirmed to have gone out on another date after (probably) getting in too deep with Lawrence. I felt relaxed and enjoyed myself–it was very good to just talk and start all over casually getting to know someone and appreciate that person. I am not deliberately trying to make comparisons but it gave me some perspective on Lawrence to be sitting at that table across from someone else who is entirely different. Now I can be more objective in regards to him, see his strengths and faults more clearly and I hope, move forward more secure in however this whole deal turns out.

FYI, the hug is the new accepted urban greeting. Or maybe it’s been around forever and I just didn’t know it, not having been very urbane. The hug is also acceptable in lieu of a kiss that would be too awkward at the end of a first date.

Rating Him:

Face shape: 2.5

Body: 3

Eyes: 7

Hair or lack thereof/Facial hair or lack thereof: 2.5

Voice: 5

Sexiness: 3

Overall Physical Attractiveness: 2

Fashion: 9

IT-ness (the IT factor, you either have IT or you don’t): 5

Deportment: 10

Charm: 8 (sense of humor and politeness add a lot)

Amiable: 7

Polite: 10 (did everything right, including opening doors and paying for lunch smoothly, e-mail etiquette, offering a hand so I could get unpeeled from the restaurant booth)

Interesting: 8

Kiss-o-meter: N/A

Rating Myself:

Face: 8.5 (spent some time on makeup to make it successful)

Body: 8.5 (feeling  better about body image from eating less, working out more & being overall a little slimmer)

Smell: 8.5 (it was cold today & no problems with sweating, I also used perfume)

Fashion: 7.5 (I looked cute but he was sophisticated and I was possibly too young-retro)

Overall Physical Attractiveness: 8.5

Deportment: 8.5

Amiable: 9 (I laughed a lot and was generally nice to be around)

Confidence: 8.5

Polite: 5 (I lost big points, at least with myself for not responding to his e-mails trying to set up the date and I neglected to take the hand he offered to help me up from the booth)