Men are from Mars….

Apparently the divide between men and women is almost insurmountable even when it’s between friends. One of my male friends and I have discussed the possibility of us dating. We said we were going to and then we didn’t, but we stayed friends, friends who sometimes kiss, but are more than friends with benefits. Yes, I know everyone thinks it’s more than that but this really is. We are able to go out and enjoy dinner or movies or other social activities and not always get physical afterwards. We still talk about dating and we talk about only being friends and eliminating the physical stuff, we talk about everything. The bottom line is that we like each other and are attracted to each other so I don’t see anything wrong with acting on that when we both agree to it.

There are a lot of complicated reasons he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now that I can’t get into here, but he takes the time to talk about it with me. He feels like he isn’t ready and I won’t push him because if we are meant to be, we will be, when we are both ready for it. He knows I’m not waiting around for him. Again, if we are ever going to have a shot we both have to want it and be ready for it at the same time and if I hold out for him I may end up resenting him if he doesn’t conform to my timeline.

So anyway, normally when we text he responds either right away or within a few hours. There have been times in the past when he wasn’t responding about making plans but that hasn’t happened in a long time. Recently though I didn’t get a response to multiple text messages over a span of a few days. One missed text message is one thing, maybe he was busy, or it was late and he was asleep, but several missed messages and phone calls makes me crazy. My abandonment issues kick in and I start to freak out. Then I go back and forth between being worried and being upset that the other person can’t even respond to tell me they’re busy. This is where the difference between men and women come in. Women will write back and say that but men, men often just wait until they’re not busy and don’t get why women are upset by then.

He finally responded after I sent him (what felt like) a million more Facebook messages. Of course, he thought I was being overdramatic. I told him I just worry. Turns out he had sick relatives so my worry was not unfounded. Ugh, why couldn’t he just tell me that?? He of course, still doesn’t get why I was so worried. I am mad at him but want nothing more than to see him and talk to him and hug him. This probably means I need to not see him for a bit.