So, I went speed dating today. I have been twice before with different companies and at one of those events I did end up matching with someone who I went out a few times before figuring out it wasn’t a love connection. We did continue to hang out though and have become good friends. I go into these things not expecting much other than to meet some new people who I may or may not see again. This event had 26 men, I think there were slightly fewer women, but I had to talk to 26 guys for 3 minutes each. It was fun and exhausting. It was somewhat well run, although they could have done a few things a little better. It’s always awkward trying to write notes and they were running a little behind schedule so they zipped us along pretty quickly and I had a few blanks in my notes next the guys’ names. So, when it came time to decide who I liked I filled up all 14 spots on the sheet. I wrote down some people I might not have been typically attracted to but whose conversation was interesting and a few who had blanks next to their names, because what the heck? It wouldn’t hurt to go on one date with them if we even end up matching. That’s the other thing, I don’t expect to match with all 14 so I just filled up the spots hoping to match with more than just 1 or 2. We shall see shortly how that turns out…
Am I the unavailable one?
Cassie here and I have a slightly different problem than my friend Scarlett. While she seems to be perpetually involved in long term relationships I can’t seem to make it past a few weeks in any of mine. I recently had a revelation though.
I’ve suspected for some time now that maybe I’m the unavailable one. Then while searching for a solution to another problem I came across an article about that very topic. While I didn’t agree with all the logic behind it the signs they pointed out were pretty clear, I am unavailable. My current romantic interests are all unavailable, at least to me, but I may be part of the problem. I have a pattern of liking a guy, becoming friends with them, and then never dating them. I’ve suspected that at least some of these guys may have had an interest in me as well. Now, is the reason we never went out because I never asked (It is the 2000s and I’m a modern woman, a chicken, but a modern woman) or is it because I never gave them the go ahead to approach me about it? This is something I may ask some of them in the future if I can get up the nerve and deal with the consequences of talking about it honestly. For now though, I’m just going to try to put myself out there more and see what happens.
To that end, my goal will be a little different than Scarlett’s. It will be to practice being more available. I’ve got a very busy schedule but I’m going to try to start making more room in it for dating. Also, I will be more focused on trying to find someone I can continue to go out with and hopefully even someone with whom I can be in a relationship. That’s what I want, but having been on my own for as long as I have been, that’s a scary thought. So, I’m going to need to find someone who is willing to take it slow with me.