Please note, all names of individuals contained herein are fake; places are not mentioned specifically. This is in order to protect the innocent (and possibly the guilty, meaning myself).

In the beginning section cataloging each date, I am including sections for things like “My Outfit” and “Amount of Time Spent Beautifying.” FYI, I am not a Narcissist. I put these as indicators of how important I thought the date was going to be beforehand. I am also using these categories because I think it will be interesting to note each date’s reaction to my appearance, as well as my own confidence level based on my own perception of how I look that day.

At the ending section cataloging each date, I have put in several categories of rankings of things like the person’s face, smell and interestingness. The rankings are not in order to be mean to my dates (hey, the names are changed!) I also included a category called “Deportment.” This category is based on the critical factor of how one carries himself, my little joke inspired by Mr. Turveydrop in Bleak House. Another category is “Amiable,” an idea that Jane Austen illustrated in descriptions of courtship. I think that the idea of Amiable is best described when Agatha Christie quotes David Copperfield in her autobiography: ‘”Is your brother an agreeable man, Peggotty?” I enquired cautiously. “Oh what an agreeable man he is!” exclaimed Peggotty .’ (Christie goes on to explain that her own father was an agreeable/amiable man.)

The purpose of all these rankings is in the interest of Science, to study how much importance I attach to each category in making an overall evaluation of how much I like someone and if I will date the person again. So, with that being said, just read the rest of the damn blog.

My first release into the wilds of dating. On the prowl. A little nervous. A little excited.

It all started with a chat after dinner at my friend Bee’s house, with another friend, Cassandra Chick-Lit, in attendance. Bee has been in a committed relationship for about 10 years; Cassandra and I are both currently single. As women so often do, the three of us began to analyze our relationship histories—the Good, the Bad & the Ugly. And while the three of us have plenty in common, it’s the Ugly I’ve mostly considered on a very personal level for the last year and a half (more on that later).

Cassandra and I began to talk about the Bad—in other words, where we have been unsuccessful in our relationships. All three of us are in our 30s, which seems to be a place where people become more in tune with who they are and can have more honest conversations about it. Cassandra confessed that she is a commitment-phobe. By contrast, I consider myself a non-commitment-phobe. This has been a very Ugly problem for me for many years past. I’ve had so many bad long-term relationships that I am starting to lose count. It started with a relationship with my High School Sweetheart, which lasted for nearly eight years and ended in the Bitter Big D. (Which divorce is not bitter??)

Anyway, for most of my adult life, I have impulsively committed to and been stuck with several of the wrong people. One, three, SEVEN years in: “Gee, all this wasted time has been a blast but I really have to leave now.” I could write a book about it (and in fact have a half-written manuscript on this topic in my desk right now.) Hence, the Anti-Commitment Problem, or ACP. That sounds like a medical diagnosis. Yes I like that—ACP—that sounds better than just saying I have a yucky personal issue.

This problem is still lurking around somewhere in my past and while I was talking to Bee and Cassandra, I realized that I have no idea how to date; here I am at this ripe age and I still don’t even have the skills that even a semi-popular teenager might. To my credit, in this past year of FINALLY self-inflicted singlehood, I have at least figured out a bit about why I have ACP (which I will discuss later). I have gone through quite a process this year, achieving not only monk-like celibacy, but a cynically self-protective edge over romantic impulsiveness.

But after talking it out with Bee and Cassandra, I suddenly realized that perhaps now there is a component missing in my life. Living by myself is not exactly lonely but potentially boring and I hate being bored. Plus, I may not want to be the old lady in the nursing home someday who passed up all the opportunities to have a relationship for 50 years because she made poor choices during the 15 years prior. Plus, it seems that dating would be a skill that many people in our society would/should have, and I do enjoy having skills. (I find it helps with résumés if nothing else.) Plus, I really can’t spend the entire rest of my life watching Star Trek on Netflix, as appealing as it may sound.

The project with which I am starting my new life will include going on a date with one new person every week OR  attending at least one dating-oriented event each week for a year.

Thus, with all these factors considered, I, Scarlett O’Casual, am ready for my Official Release into the Wild.